I did a lot of driving on Sunday. Three states in one day, not to mention a serious state of confusion. On the way from a relative’s house in Northern New Jersey to run to Philadelphia to see a show, I was passing the Philadelphia Park casino. It was only a couple miles out of my way, and a billboard on the Atlantic City Expressway promised me free slot play, so I decided to pay them a visit.

   It was dark, and the entrance to the place wasn’t well-marked. After leaving the main roadway, I had to go down a series of access roads to reach the massive parking lot, which was quite dark with only a few street lights. I guess the ponies never ran there at night.

   It was a healthy walk to the front entrance, but after a huge lunch, I was happy for the exercise – as long as I didn’t get mugged. The slot-club booth was right at the entrance. I showed them my Diamond card from the Atlantic City Harrah’s properties, and they gave me their own card and $50 in free play. Not bad for just walking in the door.

   I chose to play it off on the third floor, which is mostly non-smoking. I didn’t see any video-poker machines, just reel slots. Few of the slots were the familiar games I see in Atlantic City, and some were made by companies I never heard of. 

   There was no theme, no atmosphere, just rows and rows of machines in a huge hall. No cocktail servers offering drinks, you had to press a button on your machine to summon one. I didn’t see any slot attendants on the floor either. Just people playing the machines. No one seemed to be having fun, no whooping it up at a big hit, just sit there and spin the reels. I played my $50 through several machines, and ended up with $34. I put all my “winnings” back in the last machine to combine them in one ticket to ease the redemption process. When I went to cash out my ticket, I tried three ticket-redemption machines and none of them worked. I waited in line at the cashier to get my money and get out the door.

   The only bright spot was a Sunday promotion during football season. Whenever the Eagles scored, everyone who was playing a machine at the time got free slot play, and the amount varied by your card level.

   I happily left, drove the spooky access roads to the main highway, and made it to Philly in time for the show. I was in the casino all of about half an hour. I don’t care if the casino tags me as a flea, because I have no intention of going back. Even if I lived in Philadelphia, I’d still prefer Atlantic City.

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